Unknown

I completley feel like I am stuck in the world of the unknown, and I am really hating it! The future holds so many undecided factors for me right now and I hate that feeling. I am stressed out over things I won't know about until April and August! Who stresses about stuff that is 5 months away?!!! I know it is absolutely ridiculous for me to stress out but I can't help it.

I wish there was a way to see the future. I really wonder if I was offered a chance to see my future if I would take it. Seeing the future takes the faith out of life but it can take away some stress but I definitely don't think all of it. I just want to know right now about what is going to be happening this fall with school, work, Taylor's business, and everything else. To bad life doesn't work that way.

I guess it is time for my stress trial in life, or one of many. I have realized that I really need to put 100% faith in the Lord and his plan for me. I know that He knows who I am and is helping me down the path I am supposed to be on but it is sure hard sometimes not knowing where you will be or what you will be doing in the near future.

I think the other thing that is so hard for me is waiting on others. I won't know about school until someone else makes the decision about my future. I won't know if I get the work schedule I need until someone else says it will work out. I want to be able to decide but it doesn't always work that way.

I guess for now I will just try not to stress over things that are out of my control and most importantly remember that my Father in Heaven loves me and is mindful of me. And that is all I can ask for.

My Biggest Goal!

So my biggest goal this year is to lose some weight and be comfortable in my body. This is my greatest weakness and something I really want to improve this year. I know most girls have this difficulty but this is my biggest problem and have become very determined in my efforts to change.

I have started working out and am getting better and pushing myself past the limits I have set for myself. I think that the limits I set for myself are my absolute biggest hindrance. I think I can't do it so I slack off. That is changing! I am doing P90X and it is killing me but after about 1 1/2 weeks I can start to feel the difference.

I am also trying to eat healthier, anyone that knows me knows I LOVE chocolate. It is fantastic, any type! ha ha But I have done so much better. I am not saying I don't eat some chocolate, because to be honest I have to have just a little but the amount has dropped drastically!I have really cut down on my sweets intake, my soda intake, and the amount of calories I have each day. I have also increase my water and have started P90X.

What I can't decide is a reward. I know that sounds silly but many people have told me that to help keep yourself motivated you should reward yourself for weight lost. I am not talking food or treats, that defeats the purpose of the goal, but I different reward that helps keep you going. Knowing you aren't just working towards a weight loss goal but also another type of reward.

I am looking for suggestions, what is a good reward. After 5lbs, 10lbs, 15lbs, etc. or whatever weight loss I need to feel comfortable in my body and proud of myself! Any help of suggestions would be greatly appreciated!

Valentine's Day

Taylor and I had a wonderful Valentine's Day. I had to work and he had class so we just kept it really low key. Which was so much fun!


I made dinner and it turned out delicious. We had Steak, salad, Lion House Rolls (that I made from scratch!), and a simple veggie. But it was really delicious.

The best part was the chocolate fondue. We had marshmallows, strawberries, bananas, pretzels, cinnamon bears, and pineapple! I love fondue and this turned out so perfectly. It was a perfect end to a great day. Even though we already got our Valentine's present, Taylor surprised me with Roses and a box of chocolates! It was really sweet. I have to say I have the best Valentine around!

Essence vs Ego

So I went to my sister Dani's Relief Society last night. She invited me and some of my other sisters, only Katelyn was able to come, to go listen to this relationship speaker. He was speaking on Self Esteem. I almost didn't go because I was tired and wanted to be home with my hubby. But I decided that I really could use some good self esteem advice, that is my biggest struggle in life, being happy with myself. Anyway, Dani had gone to a lecture by him earlier this year and said she laughed so hard and learned so much. His name is Matt Townsend, and I would suggest anyone who gets an offer to go to one of his lectures, to jump at the chance! He was great!


So the Topic, Matt called it Essence vs Ego. All about self esteem and how to have/keep a good self esteem. He talked about all the different things in our lives and how it stress us all out not being able to keep up with what we think we should be doing.

He put into prospective what is really important and tied it into the gospel so amazingly. I don't think I have every laughed really hard and felt the spirit so strong. He calls our spirit, given to us by our Heavenly Father our "Essence". We all have our essence and it will always be there with us. We just have to remember it is there. The "Ego" is all of those things that stress us out and we think make up our identity.

My favorite quote from this speaker was this, "Christ saw your face in Gethsemane, nothing you do or feel surprises him. He still loves you unconditionally, even if you don't grow the garden you think you are supposed to have, or have all of your genealogy done. He still loves you! When you are in your "essence" or in your true spirit. You will always feel his love"

I love this because we all stress about our body, our house, etc. We all feel embarrassed, ashamed, guilty, inadequate, and unworthy at times in our life. But if we become one with our "essence" we wont have to feel those things. We can know that our Heavenly Father loves us so dearly and our faults are not seen in his eyes.

I wish I could say all that he did last night, or at least put it into comprehendable terms. It was just what I needed to hear and I am so glad that I went. I am going to buy his book on health marriage communication, I will let you know how it is.

Also, he teaches a "Date Night" where he speaks to couples about communication and relationships. I am really wanting to go, I just want to find some more couples to go with! This is what my sister went to and said it was a hilarious night. She even cried from laughter! ha ha If anyone is interested, let me know, I am trying to go with Taylor soon!

The Joys of the Cold

You all know that it has been extremely cold outside. We have all been suffering from the freezing temperatures as we leave the house to do what ever we need.

Well, not only do we have to suffer through the cold but we woke up to a nice surprise... The tube that pumps the water out of our furnace outside, froze. Our renter got out of bed and stepped into a nice soggy carpet! Gabby (our renter) called Taylor and he went down to fix everything he could. He used our shop vac (best invention ever!) and sucked up 3 gallons of water off the floor. After pulling everything out of Gabby's bedroom of course. He pulled up the pad and the carpet and put a fan on it.

Then he left for California. Yeah, this is auction week and Taylor had to leave. Of course everything has to happen on the same day!

So when I got home from work I sucked up another 2 gallons of water out of the pump that had filled up again. And waited for the repairman to come. He came and confirmed what we already knew, the pipe was completely frozen outside. He cut the line and now it is draining into a five gallon bucket. That I get to empty twice a day!

They were supposed to come again today(Thursday) but they never showed. If you know me at all, you can imagine how angry I was. But that is life and I had to get over it. I had Taylor call them, at this point my phone calls were being ignored, and they for sure be here tomorrow at 1. If they know what is good for them at least :)

So hopefully the pipe will be fixed tomorrow. Then I will worry about the carpet, pad, and all of Gabby's stuff being put back. But that will have to be another day :(

Here are some pictures of that wonderful event.

All of our renter's stuff...

The wonderful shop vac

The pipe now draining into the 5 gallon bucket